BE LOUD in the morning (talk to someone, dance to music, go for a run)
Sleep is kind of like maple syrup. It spills over so easily, but if you have too much you feel really gross.
BE QUIET when things get too fast (write, nap, walk, stretch)
If the world is spinning, you're supposed to give it time to settle before you jump on another ride. Unless you want to lose everything you had that morning... ;)
LEARN from everything, even yourself
Apparently I need to write to stay sane - in other words, I've discovered a cure for insanity!
TEACH someone, even if it's only by example
Ex. Accepting an insult with humor/grace. Makes your life easier, and their life exceedingly frustrating.
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT BOX, so you can think outside it
Apparently pickles and peanut butter go well together, but I still haven't tried that one...
LOVE OR APPRECIATE SOMETHING
A friend or family member is good. If all else fails, remember that toasters are brilliant inventions. And not just for toast...
DRINK WARM WATER. Just cuz.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
State of Mind
I heard an anecdote once about a boy who was sent into a palace with only one task: he couldn't spill any water from the spoon he carried. He navigated his way through the halls without spilling a single drop. When he returned, the Taskmaster asked him what the palace was like. "I don't know," the boy said. "I was concentrating on keeping the water still."
He got sent in again. This time he spilled all of his water, but could relay every detail about the palace levels and decorations. The Taskmaster informed him he would need to try harder next time. He could learn, in time, to both hold the water steady, and appreciate the world around him.
It's easy to focus in on one aspect of life and ignore everything else. On the other hand, it's easy to live in a state of constant "distraction", and try to experience every single aspect life that may or may not exist. The Taskmaster story alludes to the idea that we can do both at once, and maybe hold more than one layer in our minds at once.
In horseback riding if you try and focus on one thing at a time you're screwed. Heels down, elbows in, back straight, chin up, wrists even... it's impossible to remember all the rules and tips. However-- once you understand the nature of your horse, you can simply move forward (through jumps, dressage moves, etc.) and your cues to the horse (once you learn how to execute them properly) will be automatic.
In human relationships I've heard a lot of "rules and tips" as well. Play hard-to-get; two people will get sick of each other if they spend too much time together; opposites attract; don't talk about your past unless you want to scare people off... Umm - really? I'm pretty sure if you try and follow all the little tricks you'll end up acting like a paranoid and inconsistent therapy candidate.
Life can seem complicated. It's like there's a 5-dimensional (does that exist?) spiderweb of rules and tricks and little paths that may or may not lead anywhere, and everyone's sliding around like beads on a multilayer abacus (those wooden bead things for counting/math). But how, if this is true, can a human work through all the distractions and myths and opinions in order to direct the actions of a horse that is 6 times their size. How can so many unique individuals stay lovingly married for a lifetime?
Maybe they can see through the web. Maybe, for them, life's many different layers and aspects are guided and shaped by their ability to see through the spiderweb to a fundamental truth. Maybe they can hold more than one layer and aspect of life in focus at once, and gain a sense of perspective and understanding despite all the factors and distractions that arise. Both of my examples, by the way, are clarified by the idea that every living creature wants to be understood. In relationships (both with people and with animals) if your actions are motivated by love, everything is simplified.
He got sent in again. This time he spilled all of his water, but could relay every detail about the palace levels and decorations. The Taskmaster informed him he would need to try harder next time. He could learn, in time, to both hold the water steady, and appreciate the world around him.
It's easy to focus in on one aspect of life and ignore everything else. On the other hand, it's easy to live in a state of constant "distraction", and try to experience every single aspect life that may or may not exist. The Taskmaster story alludes to the idea that we can do both at once, and maybe hold more than one layer in our minds at once.
In horseback riding if you try and focus on one thing at a time you're screwed. Heels down, elbows in, back straight, chin up, wrists even... it's impossible to remember all the rules and tips. However-- once you understand the nature of your horse, you can simply move forward (through jumps, dressage moves, etc.) and your cues to the horse (once you learn how to execute them properly) will be automatic.
In human relationships I've heard a lot of "rules and tips" as well. Play hard-to-get; two people will get sick of each other if they spend too much time together; opposites attract; don't talk about your past unless you want to scare people off... Umm - really? I'm pretty sure if you try and follow all the little tricks you'll end up acting like a paranoid and inconsistent therapy candidate.
Life can seem complicated. It's like there's a 5-dimensional (does that exist?) spiderweb of rules and tricks and little paths that may or may not lead anywhere, and everyone's sliding around like beads on a multilayer abacus (those wooden bead things for counting/math). But how, if this is true, can a human work through all the distractions and myths and opinions in order to direct the actions of a horse that is 6 times their size. How can so many unique individuals stay lovingly married for a lifetime?
Maybe they can see through the web. Maybe, for them, life's many different layers and aspects are guided and shaped by their ability to see through the spiderweb to a fundamental truth. Maybe they can hold more than one layer and aspect of life in focus at once, and gain a sense of perspective and understanding despite all the factors and distractions that arise. Both of my examples, by the way, are clarified by the idea that every living creature wants to be understood. In relationships (both with people and with animals) if your actions are motivated by love, everything is simplified.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Vacansopapurosophobia
Huge word, right? According to google it's real. But I'll get to that. I wanted to ramble for a bit about a snake-headed dilemma called potential. When all your options lie before you, you can appreciate the beauty of potential. For instance, there are millions of people in the world, and each is a potential friend. There are millions of blank pieces of paper in the world. Beneath the white monotony of a canvas may await an otherworldly work of art waiting to spring into existence; or, in a Word document, a portal to world where our deepest hopes and fears become reality through the venue of a great story.
A world full of untouched, unknown potential is a magical place, but when a clumsy human comes along, he/she will inevitably fudge up any potential for greatness.
One embarrassment, and your crush will realize you're retarded and move onto a new, perfect mystery woman. One scuff of a paintbrush, and a decent painting is suddenly destroyed. And how can one person possibly write a story that will bring out all the emotions and wonder that have a mere potential to exist? Why not simply enjoy the fact that these things could exist, if someone greater than yourself took the trouble to bring them into existence? Um, because waiting is boring. Do it yourself.
Vacansopapurosophobia is the fear of blank pages. It's a fear of committing to one decision, because in the instant you choose one door, a million others are lost. A wall of doors might be clean and neat but eventually (hopefully) you'll realize that you are, in fact, spending your life staring at a wall. Dare to get messy, and to screw up, and to make an ass of yourself. Risk losing a friend, if it means being honest with them. Risk writing the first story in the world that will make everyone who reads it want to instantly kill themselves. Maybe the military will buy it from you and then, hey! it's not such a failure after all!
A world full of untouched, unknown potential is a magical place, but when a clumsy human comes along, he/she will inevitably fudge up any potential for greatness.
One embarrassment, and your crush will realize you're retarded and move onto a new, perfect mystery woman. One scuff of a paintbrush, and a decent painting is suddenly destroyed. And how can one person possibly write a story that will bring out all the emotions and wonder that have a mere potential to exist? Why not simply enjoy the fact that these things could exist, if someone greater than yourself took the trouble to bring them into existence? Um, because waiting is boring. Do it yourself.
Vacansopapurosophobia is the fear of blank pages. It's a fear of committing to one decision, because in the instant you choose one door, a million others are lost. A wall of doors might be clean and neat but eventually (hopefully) you'll realize that you are, in fact, spending your life staring at a wall. Dare to get messy, and to screw up, and to make an ass of yourself. Risk losing a friend, if it means being honest with them. Risk writing the first story in the world that will make everyone who reads it want to instantly kill themselves. Maybe the military will buy it from you and then, hey! it's not such a failure after all!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
"Don't ever look away"
I don't like boundaries. I don't like having to tell myself I can't talk to someone, or that I can't ask a particular question because it would be "insensitive". When someone dies, for instance, people have a tendency to tread lightly around the topic, or pretend it never happened. We assume that the people grieving simply want to forget and move on and keep busy, and somehow they'll fool themselves into thinking that whatever happened is not a big deal.
I'm revealing my geekiness here, but I think this is along the same principle as what JK Rowling said: Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. All of the characters in Harry Potter refuse to say the name Voldemort. They want to believe he doesn't exist but in refusing to look at the reality they magnify his fear factor - and everyone is too scared to confront him.
The issues we refuse to acknowledge blow up in our minds until it's something we're convinced is too big for us to handle. We think the only solution is to look away and move on and pray to God that we never need to encounter the issue again. But things are never so black and white. Issues are not Satanic forces that will swallow us hole if we turn back to face them. The more we can face them and talk about them and work things through without fear, the smaller and more reasonable the issue becomes.
Call me nosy, but I don't like boundaries. I refuse to accept that part of my life is over, never to look at it again. I'm moving forward, but I'm not running away.
I'm revealing my geekiness here, but I think this is along the same principle as what JK Rowling said: Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. All of the characters in Harry Potter refuse to say the name Voldemort. They want to believe he doesn't exist but in refusing to look at the reality they magnify his fear factor - and everyone is too scared to confront him.
The issues we refuse to acknowledge blow up in our minds until it's something we're convinced is too big for us to handle. We think the only solution is to look away and move on and pray to God that we never need to encounter the issue again. But things are never so black and white. Issues are not Satanic forces that will swallow us hole if we turn back to face them. The more we can face them and talk about them and work things through without fear, the smaller and more reasonable the issue becomes.
Call me nosy, but I don't like boundaries. I refuse to accept that part of my life is over, never to look at it again. I'm moving forward, but I'm not running away.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The Boulder
I heard a story once about a man whom God told to push a rock up a hill. It was a huge rock. It was taller than the man's head. But the man said OK - if that's what you want me to do, God, I'll push that rock up that hill. So he tried. And failed. And when the sun set he went away frustrated, telling himself he'd try again in the morning.
For nearly four years the man would wake up early every morning and push against the rock. Every morning, the rock stayed put. He wanted to please God, or at least prove he wasn't completely incompetent, but no matter what he did he could not get the frigging rock up the frigging hill.
Finally, certain that he'd been set an impossible task, he blew up at God: "I've been killing myself every day to move this freaking rock, and it won't move! Why would you give me a task when you knew I would fail?"
But God, in his omnipotent way, said simply, "It was never your job to move the rock. I only told you to push it. I will move the rock." And he did.
The man, exasperated, demanded, "Why bother getting me to push against it all these years?"
So God told him to look at himself. He's grown strong and lean; he now had some sexy muscles; he'd learned persistence, and had become more fit and energetic; he was a great critical thinker, after trying thousands of methods of moving the rock. He'd grown in many aspects, all from those long, hard mornings of pushing against the rock.
It's easy to get frustrated when we feel like we aren't accomplishing things, but maybe the accomplishment isn't the point. The attitude we do things with is more important than the things we actually do. That's the part we have full control over.
For nearly four years the man would wake up early every morning and push against the rock. Every morning, the rock stayed put. He wanted to please God, or at least prove he wasn't completely incompetent, but no matter what he did he could not get the frigging rock up the frigging hill.
Finally, certain that he'd been set an impossible task, he blew up at God: "I've been killing myself every day to move this freaking rock, and it won't move! Why would you give me a task when you knew I would fail?"
But God, in his omnipotent way, said simply, "It was never your job to move the rock. I only told you to push it. I will move the rock." And he did.
The man, exasperated, demanded, "Why bother getting me to push against it all these years?"
So God told him to look at himself. He's grown strong and lean; he now had some sexy muscles; he'd learned persistence, and had become more fit and energetic; he was a great critical thinker, after trying thousands of methods of moving the rock. He'd grown in many aspects, all from those long, hard mornings of pushing against the rock.
It's easy to get frustrated when we feel like we aren't accomplishing things, but maybe the accomplishment isn't the point. The attitude we do things with is more important than the things we actually do. That's the part we have full control over.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Last Day at White Spot
So I leave Vancouver today to head home to Calgary. Yesterday, I had my last shift at White Spot. Let me paint a picture: my belongings are strewn everywhere across the apartment, dirty dishes are in the sink, tiny ants are scurrying around (as usual), there are a billion plastic grocery bags filled with garbage to take out (also normal), I still haven't cleaned (...), and it is 20 minutes before my shift at White Spot is scheduled to start. This is a shift I'd been optimistic my manager could find someone to cover, being as he'd told me initially I wouldn't have to work this week.
20 minutes before my shift no fellow worker has come to my rescue, and I realize I've thrown away the shirt I used to wear at the White Spot Restaurant. I need to wear a white shirt. I call into White Spot 10 mins before my shift asking if they have any spares. "Of course not, and why don't you have a shirt??" was my response. So, I take 5 minutes to wash some dishes and then, with 10 minutes remaining, sprint out the door and 5 blocks away, into Winners where I grab any white blouse off the rack, pay for it, and dash 3 blocks to White Spot. (I made it on time, by the way. God bless downtown and it's tiny blocks.)
It is only then that I realize the shirt I grabbed is down to my knees, semi-see-through, and has no stretch whatsoever. Therefore, as I walk onto the floor for my last shift, I have a shirt that is completely bunched up under my pants where I tucked it in, it is extremely obvious I'm wearing a bathing suit under the shirt, and every time I move my arms a large section of shirt gets pulled loose of my pants and floats around my midsection so that I feel like a ghost from Mario and Bowser's world. One of the waitresses said I look like a hussy. Not sure if she meant it in a nice way or not, but I suppose I can be proud to at least be able to say I looked like a retard my last day at work =)
When my shift ended I returned the shirt. (It was still clean!) "What's your reason for returning the item?" "It makes me look like a mushroom." "Oh. OK then."
Cheers to Vancouver and terrible blouses everywhere.
20 minutes before my shift no fellow worker has come to my rescue, and I realize I've thrown away the shirt I used to wear at the White Spot Restaurant. I need to wear a white shirt. I call into White Spot 10 mins before my shift asking if they have any spares. "Of course not, and why don't you have a shirt??" was my response. So, I take 5 minutes to wash some dishes and then, with 10 minutes remaining, sprint out the door and 5 blocks away, into Winners where I grab any white blouse off the rack, pay for it, and dash 3 blocks to White Spot. (I made it on time, by the way. God bless downtown and it's tiny blocks.)
It is only then that I realize the shirt I grabbed is down to my knees, semi-see-through, and has no stretch whatsoever. Therefore, as I walk onto the floor for my last shift, I have a shirt that is completely bunched up under my pants where I tucked it in, it is extremely obvious I'm wearing a bathing suit under the shirt, and every time I move my arms a large section of shirt gets pulled loose of my pants and floats around my midsection so that I feel like a ghost from Mario and Bowser's world. One of the waitresses said I look like a hussy. Not sure if she meant it in a nice way or not, but I suppose I can be proud to at least be able to say I looked like a retard my last day at work =)
When my shift ended I returned the shirt. (It was still clean!) "What's your reason for returning the item?" "It makes me look like a mushroom." "Oh. OK then."
Cheers to Vancouver and terrible blouses everywhere.
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